Mental Illness, Addiction and Hypocrisy
By TinTin Monsanto
Freelance writer, artist, singer-songwriter
November 05, 2022, the world was shaken by the death of singer Aaron Carter, he was 34 at the time of his death.
Aaron Carter is a singer-songwriter and rapper who found fame during his childhood years. He started stardom at the age of seven when he became a front act to his brother’s boyband, “Backstreet Boys”. He was the Justin Beiber of his time. He sold millions of copies and had a triple platinum award. He also did some acting gigs.
But just like any other artists, fame doesn’t stay long. It will not keep you up on the top pedestal and soon will be forgotten. Although he was still doing some performances, we have to take into account that he was not as famous as before, unlike his brother Nick Carter who is doing concert tours with his BSB Band. Until reports in recent years about his troubled life. Aaron Carter was in the news due to alleged drug addictions and trouble in the family.
Mental Illness and Addiction
Aaron Carter was in the news as everyone was worried about his drastic weight loss and probable addiction. He showed up to some interviews and even appeared in THE DRS Show wherein he even agreed to do a drug test. He was negative from cocaine and meth. He was positive on marijuana, benzodiazepines, xanax, opiates, and hydrocodone. From the interview, he knows that taking these substances has its consequences and said that he was afraid to die from overdose just like what happened to his sister. He later on revealed in the show that he went to multiple psychiatrists and therapists as he was battling with different mental conditions. He was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, acute anxiety and manic depression.
Multiple personality disorder or Dissociative disorders involve problems with memory, identity, emotion, perception, behavior and sense of self. Dissociative symptoms can potentially disrupt every area of mental functioning. Schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder that affects less than one percent of the U.S. population. When schizophrenia is active, symptoms can include delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, trouble with thinking and lack of motivation. However, with treatment, most symptoms of schizophrenia will greatly improve and the likelihood of a recurrence can be diminished. (American Psychiatric Association - www.psychiatry.org)
Due to his battle with different multiple mental conditions and without proper support and guidance, he led his life to substance abuse. For him, those medications are as needed but he was losing his grip and may have lost control.
Hypocrisy
Following one controversy to another, it was known to many that his family filed a restraining order against him, most specifically his brother Nick Carter. Nick Carter filed it due to the harm and danger imposed by Aaron Carter.
Imagine your life all alone, cannot go near your family, you are nothing but a lost sheep in the middle of a mayhem. Then when he died, there you go, loved ones crying and posting messages of love. I do sympathize with his family’s loss and my condolences to them. It is not easy to lose someone, especially losing someone suddenly.
However, please stop the hypocrisy. One thing I want to say is to please respect my opinion as I respect yours.
After Aaron Carter’s death a lot posted messages including his brother Nick who even cried during the BSB Concert. It was indeed touching to see him crying out of love. He posted:
“My heart has been broken today. Even though my brother and I have had a complicated relationship, my love for him has never ever faded. I have always held onto the hope, that he would somehow, someday want to walk a healthy path and eventually find the help that he so desperately needed. Sometimes we want to blame someone or something for a loss. But the truth is that addiction and mental illness is the real villain here. I will miss my brother more than anyone will ever know. I love you Chizz., Now you get a chance to finally have some peace you could never find here on earth….God,Please take care of my baby brother.”
It is true that the villain here is the addiction and mental illness. But stop the hypocrisy of posting love messages or tribute like this. Why? It is because in the first place, why did you give up on him? Why did they leave him in limbo? They knew that this would come to an end like this but they never reached out to him while he was battling his demons on his own. Out of fear that he will bring danger to their families, out of fear that he will be a bad influence, out of fear that he might kill somebody. Maybe…maybe they did not give up on him…but…
During the time he needed help, where were they?
During the time he had mental issues, where were they?
During the time he was on substance abuse, where were they?
During the time he needed a family, where were they?
During the time he needed to be with somebody, where were they?
During the time he needed someone to reach out on him, where were they?
Maybe I don’t know what is happening during these times, but if you really love somebody you won’t give up on him no matter how difficult it would be, even if it seems there is no hope at all. Past events and circumstances may have tarnished that relationship but you won't let that scar dictate the present and the future. If there is really love amongst the family, you will not give up easily even if he pushes you away, because that pushing means “I need help, please help me”.
Nick Carter wrote, “...I have always held onto the hope that he would somehow, someday want to walk a healthy path and eventually find the help that he so desperately needed…”
You held onto that hope but you never unchained it. You just simply held onto it but did not do anything. You hold onto that filed restraining order against him.
“...he would somehow, someday…eventually find the help that he so desperately needed…”.
But where were you during his battle?
Where were you when he needed someone to be there, take his hand and to go find help that he needed?
Where were you when he drastically needed a guiding force to pull him back on track?
If you really wanted him to find the help that he needed, you could have helped him because just like a child who doesn’t know what to do, you are the one who has the right and sound mind to know what to do. To remind you that he was not in his right mind at all. Those videos coming out from social media days before his death that he was even smoking, he was not in his sound mind at all. If you really loved him and wanted the help that he needed, as a family, the first thing you will do is to learn about his mental disorders and what you are supposed to do. You could have talked to doctors or therapists on how you could help him.
You do love him…
But…
Where were you during his battle?
Where were you during his struggles?
Where were you when he was crying out for help?
Why did you give up on him?
It is so easy for us to post messages or tributes especially for our dead loved ones. So that people would know how much you love this person, how good this person is. But in reality…do we have to? Do we need to? Especially when we were not there during the times we were needed the most, citing all the excuses?
Battling Mental Health Disorders is not a joke especially if you have multiple diagnoses. Being diagnosed with multiple disorders is not a good combination but a recipe for disaster. You really need to know what these disorders, symptoms and treatments are. There is no cure for mental disorders but they are treatable with the right doctor, management, medications and therapies. You have to know how you could help them and how you could reach out to them. You must learn what are the triggering factors and how you would be able to pacify him. Helping a loved one with mental disorders is very demanding, troublesome and tough as hell. There are times that they can hurt you verbally and emotionally out of consciousness or unintentionally because they cannot control it. Helping them is outright painful. But if you cannot help them, the more they cannot help themselves. Most episodes are beyond their control. It is not an excuse for outrageous actions or erratic behaviors but if someone can help them manage it, they can somehow control even if in the slightest percentage they will try to. If you want them to get help, you have to help them get it because you are also part of the process on how he will be able to be treated from these dreadful conditions. In order for them to get the help that they need, you have to be involved and be part of the process. Again, people with mental disorders are not in their right minds, if you want them to get help, you have to help them get it because you are the one who has the sound mind. If you give up on them, they will give up their lives.
Complicated? It is!
May you rest in peace Aaron Carter.
